The Lone Ranger
If you’re a
first-year student at university or college, this may be your first experience
living away from home for an extended period of time. It is a definite break
from your usual home environment.
It’s normal
to have concerns about forming friendships. When new students look around, it
may seem that everyone else is self-confident and socially successful. The
reality is that everyone is having the same concerns.
If you give
yourself sufficient time, you should find new friends in the university to
provide structure and a valuable support system in this strange new
environment. The important thing to remember when meeting new people is to
simply be yourself.
Meaningful,
new relationships should not be expected to develop overnight. It took a great
deal of time to develop intimacy in high school friendships; the same will be
true of intimacy in university friendships.
Cry freedom
Increased
personal freedom can feel both wonderful and frightening. You’ll find that you
can now come and go as you choose with no one to criticise you. At the same
time, things are no longer predictable. The strange environment with new kinds
of procedures and new people can create the sense of being on an emotional
roller-coaster. This is completely normal and you’ll find your own balance
sooner or later.
Sharing your space
Living with
roommates can sometimes lead to intense problems. Negotiating issues around
personal property, personal space, sleep, and relaxation needs can be a
difficult task. It becomes even more difficult when roommates are of different
ethnic/cultural backgrounds with very different values. Communicating your
legitimate needs calmly, listening with respect to a roommate's concerns, and
being willing to compromise to meet each other's most important needs can go a
long way towards finding peace in your living environment.
It is
unrealistic to expect that roommates will be best friends. Roommates may work
out mutually satisfying living arrangements, but the reality is that each may
tend to have his or her own circle of friends.
Worrying about workloads
University
classes are a great deal more difficult and involve more responsibility than
high school classes. There are more reading assignments, and the exams and
papers cover a greater amount of material. Instructors expect students to do
more work outside the classroom. In order to survive, the student must take
responsibility for his or her actions. This means you need to follow the course
outlines and keep up with the recommended reading. Everything is up to you as
the student. If you miss a class, it is up to you to borrow lecture notes from
someone who was present. If you are having difficulty with course work, don’t
be afraid to ask for help before it’s too late - ask to do assignments from
previous years for practice, request an appointment with a lecturer, or ask a
student counsellor for advice and support.
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